“We think we listen, but very rarely do we listen with real understanding, true empathy. Yet listening, of this very special kind, is one of the most potent forces for change that I know” 

Carl Rogers

As a person-centred counsellor, my approach is founded upon my belief that each and every person already holds within them an innate capacity for change and personal growth. It is your own uniqueness, understandings and insights which will guide our work, supporting honest exploration towards a deeper understanding of yourself and your problems, whatever they may be. 

Working at a pace and depth which is comfortable for you, I can help you to explore your thoughts, feelings, and patterns of behaviour, to move forwards in your life with new insights, greater clarity and wellbeing.

I work in a way which is tailored to meeting the needs and circumstances of each person. I recognise the importance of valuing the unique sets of experiences, perspectives and values my clients bring, working together towards creating meaningful, lasting change. I support my clients to more deeply understand their own stories, in a way which is informative, empowering and freeing.

I will help you by truly understanding your needs, listening with care, respect, and openness. I am gently and safely challenging, and we will work together to untangle difficult emotions, make sense of your experiences, and help you to see yourself with more kindness and clarity. Over time, this process can ease feelings of distress, help you feel more in control of your life, and support you in gaining the confidence to build the life you hope for.

Who I work with and my specialisms

Clients typically come to me for help with personal, emotional and mental health challenges ranging from anxiety and anxiety disorders to relationship difficulties, family issues and grief and loss. I specialise in helping people work through difficulties with guilt or shame, anger, and low self-esteem and self-doubt. 

At times, this means working with the impact of unresolved childhood experiences, the effects of which can be felt in various ways. These may include feelings of hopelessness, worry, anxious thoughts or a constant sense of unease; you may be experiencing difficulties with anger, social anxiety, feelings of guilt or shame, distressing thoughts, or a wide range of relationship, work or stress related problems. 

 I am trained in counselling those affected by trauma. If you are living with the impact of complex or childhood trauma, counselling can help you to understand the emotional, mental and physical responses you may experience, the ways in which your life and relationships may have been affected, and support you in moving forwards in your life with self-compassion and an increased sense of safety and empowerment.

Some of the issues my clients typically come to me for help with include:

Low self-esteem and self-doubt: The experiences and influences we have in childhood, and often present in our adult lives, shape the way we see ourselves and the world. Together, we can gently explore and challenge self-doubt, and help you build confidence, self-respect, and a more positive, grounded sense of who you are. 

Guilt and Shame: Living with guilt or shame can have a real impact on ourselves, our relationships and our quality of life, but these emotions don’t define who we are. Together we can explore the ways you and your life are affected, and you’ll have my support as you find a way forward which is founded on self-compassion and acceptance. 

Anxiety: If anxiety is weighing you down, making it hard to think, feel, or even breathe, you’re not alone. Anxiety can affect all areas of our lives, and constant worry can take its toll. I will help you explore and work through your thoughts and feelings, better understand your anxiety, and support you towards meaningful change.

Depression: Living with depression can make even the smallest tasks seem insurmountable. If you are experiencing feelings of hopelessness, low energy, numbness, isolation and sadness, I will be with you, and we will work towards rediscovering a sense of connection and purpose.

Working with farmers and their family members:

I have a deep understanding of the unique challenges faced by farmers and farming families. Having always been involved in farming and rural communities, I specialise in addressing the mental and emotional complexities of farming life. I can provide a safe space to talk and be heard without judgment, where we can explore the stresses, pressures, and emotional toll that farming life can bring.

Parentification Trauma

Parentification refers to a role reversal where a child is forced to take on responsibilities that are typically reserved for adults or caregivers. This can happen when a child is asked to provide emotional or physical care for a parent or sibling, often at the expense of their own emotional development. There are three main types of parentification which include:

Emotional Parentification: This occurs when a child is expected to take on an adult emotional role, such as providing comfort or support to a parent who is emotionally unstable, depressed, or overwhelmed. The child may suppress their own feelings to "parent" their parent, leading to emotional neglect of their own needs.

Physical or Instrumental Parentification: This involves a child being expected to take on practical adult responsibilities, like taking care of siblings, managing the household, or assuming duties far beyond what is developmentally appropriate. The child might take on tasks that are too complex or demanding for their age, which leads to feelings of overburdened responsibility, and a lack of sufficient opportunity for developmentally appropriate childhood activities.

Cognitive Parentification: In this form, the child is expected to manage complex adult situations or decision-making, such as financial matters, or is asked to act as a mediator in family conflicts.

The effects of parentification trauma can be lasting and include:

• Difficulty with boundaries: Those who were parentified often struggle to set boundaries, either by overextending themselves for others or feeling guilty about asking for help.
• Guilt and Shame: Parentified children often grow up with a deep sense of guilt or shame, feeling that they are not "good enough", that their own feelings or instincts are not to be trusted, or have to carry more than their fair share of emotional or practical burdens.
• Inability to Trust Others: Because they had to take care of their caregivers instead of being cared for, they may have difficulty trusting others to meet their emotional needs.
• Problems with Self-Esteem: Parentified children may struggle with feelings of inadequacy, feeling that they were never allowed to “be”, and their sense of self-worth may be tied to their ability to meet the needs of others.
• Anxiety and Depression: The emotional toll of parentification can lead to chronic anxiety, anxiety disorders, depression, and burnout, as the individual carries unresolved stress and emotional burdens into adulthood.
• Challenges in Relationships: Because of the blurred role boundaries learned in childhood, parentified individuals may have difficulty forming equal, balanced relationships as adults, sometimes attracting partners who need to be "cared for" or rescuing others to avoid feeling helpless themselves.